"My current single status, my declaration of independence"

It's not a secret: I'm obsessed with Taylor Swift. I love her- everything about her. I always have, and I always will, so the jokes don't even phase me. She did an interview recently and some of the things she said really hit home with me.

"I've learned that just because someone is cute and wants to date you, that's not a reason to sacrifice your independence and allow everyone to say what they want about you. Fixing your heartbreak by getting into another relationship is not the way to live your life- you need to live it on your own terms for a while. You can have love all around you without being in love, and find romance in your every day life without being in a romantic relationship. That can be just as fulfilling."

This took on a life of its own in my heart the minute I read it, and I started to reflect on my romantic life last year.

After my divorce was final and I felt like I could finally really let Tyler go, I started dating. I didn't necessarily want a boyfriend, but I hated being lonely. I don't mean the act of being alone; I can do that pretty well. I like having someone to talk to, someone that has my attention, and I have theirs. Someone to laugh with, someone to talk to before I fall asleep, and occasionally someone to kiss and hold my hand and fall asleep next to. Someone to make me feel important.

So, I dated. And not knowing exactly what I was looking for, I didn't really go for one type of guy.

I dated a guy in the Army for a little while who looked like a younger version of my ex-husband. I dated a former cheerleader down in Columbus. He was black and maybe four inches taller than me. I met Asa and had the most magical summer of my life with that skinny blonde boy with green eyes. Then a guy from my hometown that looked like another member of One Direction talked me into going to dinner one night. I willingly welcomed the idea of anyone to get my mind off of my broken heart, so I dated him until we realized we didn't even like each other.

That's four dudes in a year. As in, averaging one every three months. WHAT IS THAT, LINDSEY?! It never seemed that way. I didn't think there was anything wrong with just having fun. But even if my heart wasn't seriously getting hurt, I was still giving so much of myself to these guys. I was constantly checking my phone to see if I had a text message or a SnapChat, or we were planning what to do the next time we saw each other. I was just using so much energy on another human being and allowing them to have too much of an impact on my life.

So I made a decision. I took my idol's advice. Instead of focusing on who deserves my attention and affection next, I'm focusing that energy on me. I'm finding the romance in my every day life, and I'm enjoying the love all around me without being in love. I'm important enough for my own satisfaction without needing validation from someone else. I'm dating and falling in love with myself, and it's the best thing I've ever done. It's been nice being able to be selfish. I wake up every morning and ask myself, "What do you want?" Then I make moves to achieve the answers to that question without any guilt or explanations to anyone whatsoever. It's liberating and it's beautiful.

I'm sure there will come a time when I'll be ready to give the dating game another try, but I don't foresee that happening anytime soon. I've got great friends and precious kids who love me, and right now, that's enough.